La Novela Más Naca

I hate novelas.

Or at least that's what I tell people, including myself. But the truth is, I love some of them and can't stand most. The same applies to people.

Today's post is about the most pocha novela of them all: Ugly Betty.

Betty Suarez is ALLEGEDLY a first generation Mexican-American living in Queens with her retired father, her hairstylist sister and her teen nephew. She's going on her fourth year working at a fashion magazine, and as of this season, the biggest chisme is that she's outgrown her bangs, updated her glasses and taken a weedwhacker to her eyebrows.

Here's the cast lowdown.

• el papá es cubano
• la hermana es boricua/irlandesa
• el sobrino es boricua/italiano
• la mentada Betty es hondureña/pocha

Ninguno de esos burros son Mexicanos! But whatevs. That's not my beef. What really gets my goat is that two seasons ago, they all had to go to Guadalajara because Betty's dad was deported, and they all went there to save him or some babosadas like that.

I thought that ABC had decided to do the old stand-by sitcom revival plot of actually taking the family to Disney World like in Growing Pains or to Hawaii like in Full House. Or maybe have them spend the summer at the Malibu Sands Beach Club like in Saved by the Bell. But man was I wrong.

You know how they portrayed the second largest city in the greatest country in the world? As a pinche desierto. Dirt roads, chickens and nopales everywhere... It looked like Frontierland, but without the strollers. Now, while the rest of Jalisco might look like that, Guadalajara is a huge metropolitan city! (It's ALMOST as beautiful as NacoLAndia, but it's not oceanside, which is where we win.) It made me so disheartened to see my favorite jarocha con mucha pechonalidad Salma Hayek, the Executive Producer, give her approval to portray the city like such a cliché of a Mexican village.

I shake my head in sadness. And then I shake my head in sadness again because I love to watch every episode of Ugly Betty on Hulu and I not-so-secretly want her pinche poncho.

That's right. After all that badmouthing, I love that damned show, despite its fraudulence.

That being said, I really think my main reason for loving it so much is because I miss watching La Fea Más Bella. THAT show was the jam! That show reunited families like no other! Nacos from all over were sitting down with their friends, cousins, moms, siblings, spouses and most importantly, con sus abuelas to watch that masterpiece of a show.

Hasta mis tias se apuraban a rezar el rosario durante las posadas pa' prender la tele después de darles el bienvenido a los peregrinos y durante los comerciales compartían la canasta de naranjas y cacahuates. Oye, de veras, no miento.

Oh, 2006, how I miss you. I also loved Betty la Fea, but that'll be a different post altogether. I could say that Angélica Vale's hairy upper lip steals the show. I could also say that it doesn't get any better than having José José and Angélica María play the parents. But let's keep it real. I have two words for you:

Don Fernando.

Jaime.
Pinche.
Camil.

LA Naca still babas over that sexy egipcio-chilango. Ese guey es tan chulo! Y sabes que? I would dance this banda with him anytime.

It could happen! You never know!

So, in honor of Ugly Lety, I give you these highlights from LA Naca's most beloved novela.

Hasta mañana.