Nacosidades En Estas Navidades

In NacoLAndia, the rule is árboles de navidad don't go down until January 7th, or so says LA Naca.

That's right.  Don't even think about de-decking the halls with boughs of holly. Keep Charlie Brown's Christmas, Christmas Vacation, A Christmas Story or ¡Vaya Santa Claus! in the VHS player. And don't even think about removing the baby Jesus from your nacimiento.  Everything stays put.

Las Fiestas Navideñas don't end until my homies el chino Melchor, el negro Baltasar and el guero Gaspar are guided by either the Star of Bethlehem, the North Star or OnStar (I can't keep my biblical chisme straight) to my casa to drop off some myrrh, frankincense and gold, respectively, into my shoe.  And by myrrh, frankincense and gold, I mean Avon lipgloss, a handmade scarf and some reindeer socks from Ol Neybi.  Or at least, that's what they tend to give me year after year at LA Seños place.

Y ni se habla de la rosca todavía.  More on that in a future post.

In any case, déjame decirte porque me encanta esta temporada tanto: Arbolitos.

Como decía Don Chucho Martínez Gil, compositor y una tercera parte de Hermanos Martínez Gil...

Arbolito, arbolito, bajo tu sombra

Voy a esperar que el día cansado muera,

Y cuando estoy solito mirando al cielo
Pido pa' que me mande una compañera.

This song is the jam!  It sounds even better when Pedro Infante sings it.

If that doesn't make you weep, well, then maybe these trees will.  I now present to you prime examples of some truly naco Christmas trees.

(Photo courtesy of Flickr search.)

What's wrong with this picture?  I'll tell you what's wrong.  They used Mountain Dew instead of:

(Photo courtesy of FB.)

What a rookie mistake.  Fools.

OK, enough babosadas.  I'll now show you the good stuff.  Ahem.  I'm proud to present to you LA Naca's arbolito de navidad, 2009 edition.

Super chido, ¿qué no?

What were you expecting, a real tree?  No manches!  This metal tree collapses into a few parts and fits in a shoe box and costs less than a "real" tree of the same size.  So what if it doesn't smell like Douglas Fir?

Here's some sepsi extreme closeups of my badass arbolito.

 

That's right. Not only is my tree 2 feet tall and made of metal, but it's also busting at the seams with nacadas. From sugar skull spheres to luchadores y loteria handmade ornaments, mi arbolito es una obra de arte.  Plus, leave it to LA Naca to use Star Wars and Batman wrapping paper four years in a row. Guáchale. Next year, it's only gonna get nackier.

En el nombre del Santo, Blue Demon y Mil Máscaras. Amen.

Hasta mañana.