NacoLAndia PSA

This is a Public Service Announcement brought to you by LA Naca.

First and foremost, persígnate. I missed misa in order to do this blog.  That being said, I'm sure Chuchito will understand how important it is that I share this information with you.

The other day, I got yelled at for blowing out a candle.  I was paralyzed with fear because I couldn't understand what I'd done wrong!  According to my homegirl, LA Santera, my error was in snuffing out the flame with my breath instead of my fingers or the melted wax or by smothering the flame.  Dios mio! ¿Yo qué sé de estas cosas?

According to Lucky Mojo, a spells defining/candle selling website, of which I know nothing about, "You should never blow a candle out if you want to return to it, because that ends the spell, but if you pinch it out, you can come back to it any time."  I didn't realize I was casting a spell.  I just thought I was trying to make my casita smell like estróveris.

I'm not saying I don't believe in the power of prayers and candle lighting, as is evident by the cartons of Virgencita velas I got under my sink.  What I don't believe in is SOLELY putting all your faith in them for everything.  I always associated candles with faith and spirituality and home décor.  More and more, I hear about paisas lighting Santo Nino de Atocha candles for all their physical ailments, like la sciatica o el artritis. The newest one I heard of (by the same homie who yelled at my candle-blowing) was of a vieja de rodillas who be begging el Santo Nino help her son kick his meth habit. 

I don't have a meth habit, therefore I have faith in a different power: the power to self-medicate. It has been my experience that any ailment you may have from a cold to a gunshot wound can be fixed by anything found at la farmacia (and sometimes la licorería).

Why even bother to have health insurance when your medicine cabinet is this stocked?



From left to right, we got Buscapina, best friend to all nacas of child-bearing age cuando andan en sus dias.  Then, we got Naxen, which is naproxen sodium, the chafa version of Aleve or Advil, but in peso prices.  Después, tenemos Vitacilina, the naco Neosporin, pero mejor. Total Detox pills, pa cuando no te sientes bien de las tripas y el café no te ayuda ir. Pomada de Arnica, the best cure for any bruising and body aches guaranteed to heal you faster than body casts or physical therapy. And lastly, un chingo de bibaporrú slathered on your chest, back and under your nose will cure you of your cold and flu in seconds flat.

Please note: bibaporrú is for external use only.  I'm so tired of hearing other nacos tell me how their moms used to make them eat it by the spoonfuls when they were sick.  GUACATELAS!

Now, I'm off to buy Terramicina to help me fend off this sore throat.  If it doesn't work, a shot of Cazadores always does.

This has been a Public Service Announcement brought to you by LA Naca.  No digas que nunca te dije.

Hasta mañana.