First off, only half the items in said spot are actually a dollar. Many items are $2.50, so when LA Naca throws 8 Hello Kitty notebooks into the shopping cart for 6 sobrinitas and a few grown-ass friends, I get to the register thinking I'm spending 8 bucks when in actuality it's $20. ¡Qué diablos!
There's also some crazy mind-control happening at The Dollar Spot. How else can I explain owning four desk calendars when I only have one makeshift desk made of cardboard boxes?
Now that I've been burned one too many times, I steer clear of that area, so as to avoid getting sucked into it's tractor beam. But it's still Target, and things you never knew you always needed jump out at you and leap into your cart and beg you to take them home, like flannel sabanas, or $2 chanclas, or Optimus Prime piyamas.
On my most recent trip to Target, I bought a picza pan. Was it necessary? Of course not. How many piczas have I made since owning it? One. Was it worth the trip?
Hells. To. The. Yes.
Why? Because San Valentín placed before me the most naco of nacos I've ever seen at a Target, ever. I felt such a kinship towards him, as he perused the cosmetics aisle. I wanted to go up and talk to him about who highlighted his hair, but his vieja was there and I didn't want to cause any drama. So, I simply admired the naco from a distance, feeling my pulse race and my soul soar.
Seeing as how I'm sin verguenza, I followed him. I followed him out of the cosmetics section. I followed him into the cleaning supplies section. I followed him to the scanner, when his vieja started to notice, so I had to slow down and keep a few paces between myself and my love. Nonetheless, I needed to capture this Hallmark Moment so you could understand why my heart was all aflutter. Please enjoy my most recent unrequited love based solely on Cursi-inspired hair.
Amor, amor, amor
Amor, amor, amor
Quiero que me vuelvan a mirar tus ojos
Si en una rosa estas tú
Si en cada respirar estas tú
Como te voy a olvidar
Como te voy a olvidar
Si en cada respirar estas tú
Como te voy a olvidar
Como te voy a olvidar
Si te clavaste aquí en mi corazón
Y de amor has llenado mi alma
Y tu sangre corre por mis venas
Y tu sangre me hace estremecer
Iré contigo.
Y de amor has llenado mi alma
Y tu sangre corre por mis venas
Y tu sangre me hace estremecer
Iré contigo.
Si no puedo encontrar amor verdadero en el Target, ¿pos entonces dónde?
After 7 or 8 minutes of deep consideration, the answer (possibly influenced by my home decor) came whizzing towards me like a Broxton slider: Chavez Ravine.
Amorcito corazón, yo tengo tentación de un beso...by the nacho cart.
Feliz día de San Valentín.
Hasta mañana.
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