Wednesday, November 18, 2009

El Mejor Vino Es El Tequila

I'm not an alcoholic. I just drink a lot.

My drink of choice: Tequila.

Fact: nacos have a tendency of calling tequila vino. I really don't know why. We know it's not actually wine, don't we? Besides, nacos are not a wine drinking people, outside of misa. It's a mystery.

Anyway, back to tequila. Añejo, reposado, blanco--lo que sea. I love it all. Straight up. Like the Paula Abdul song with all the tap dancing, but better.

However, I hate tequila with salt.

And get this. I REALLY hate tequila with salt and limes.

I'm also not a big fan of frou-frou drinks like Midori Sour or Sex on the Beach (unless it's the real deal). They get you fat, not drunk.

So, cantineros del mundo, listen well: LA Naca doesn't want any vegetation or umbrellas floating in them dranks. Me oyen? Keep those orange slices out of my beer. Don't float a cherry in my cosmo because I'm a naca and would never order such a gabacho drink. And like I said, no lemons or limes or citrus of any kind with my tequilita shots. I go to bars to drink, not eat.

Now, as for being an odiadora la exploradora del tequila con sal y limón, that's not to say that I don't love salt and limes. I do! I just happen to love tequila on it's own so much more. In fact, I keep lemon-lime flavored salt with me at all times. It's called Lucas Salt and it's the most naco seasoning ever. And I love it.

Nacos all across the world look at this product and think, "Damn, that's what I'm talking about!" But since we're nacos, we say, "Ay caray! Pos mira no más!"

I have so many childhood memories of running out into the street to greet La Cucaracha, the roach coach, as it would roll by our street. You knew it was in the neighborhood when you heard the carhorn play the first five notes of it's namesake. Little nacos came out of the woodwork to buy these or any of the other fine Lucas products. (I'll discuss other favorites in the future. One at a time.) We would just lick a spot on our hands, pour Lucas Salt on it and repeat until hypertension set in.

As I look at my little green bottle, I wonder to myself... What does "Sprinkle at 2% on snacks" mean?

Lastly, I found this instructional clip that proves once and for all that tequila can solve all your problems.

OK, that might have been a stretch, but I still love that scene.

Off to throw back several shots of vino.

Hasta mañana.


  1. oh tequila, like the abusive husband you are to me, i keep comming back for more, like bobby and whitney, tina and ike...

  2. yeah! We didn't give a FUCK about candy with lead when we were kids, and we grew up fine! (for the most part)

  3. An entire powdered chamoy sobrecito poured between your lip and gum; that's how young nacos lived large. Cool blog, Naca. Siguele.
    -- A chilango from Guachinton